‘Can you pretend to be a dirty little girl for me?’ the man on the other side of the webcam asked.
I sighed. My ‘agent’ for adult camming services, who took 10% of my earnings, had told me that I’d get more customers for looking younger than my then-26 years. I began undressing, but then I read my client’s next message.
‘Pretend to be 14,’ he wrote.
I refused and he immediately ended the call.
I made nothing from the call. The webcam platform I used at the time, which took 40% of my earnings, largely failed to pay performers if clients cut the call after less than a minute.
It was the first time I realised that I was potentially sacrificing my mental health to get by financially, but I felt like I had no other choice.
It was 2020, I was in my overdraft every month, and there was little to no prospect of getting a pay rise at my ‘normal’ job any time soon, especially because of the pandemic – I felt lucky to be employed at all.
Over time, I realised that the risks to my mental health were not worth the money – I still have flashbacks to some of the grim requests I got during my year or so as a cam girl.
That’s why I wish we didn’t live in a world where online sex work seems to be constantly promoted as a get-rich-quick scheme for young women, in particular.
The calls, which I charged £2 a minute for (this worked out at a pound after everyone took their cut), got more extreme.
Some men had a fetish for racial abuse, for example, and I declined.
One client even asked me if I had any pets and whether I’d be prepared to get them involved with the show. The thought still makes me sick.
That’s why when I saw the documentary about OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips sleeping with 100 men in a day, it sent chills down my spine.
I can’t speak for Lily Phillips but I know from bitter personal experience that adult content creators are having to do increasingly extreme stunts to get by.
Free porn is everywhere on the internet, and it is often only extreme acts that stand out when it comes to making the big bucks, or any money at all.
My first foray into the world of adult content creation involved an attempt to sell my pants online, but I got absolutely nowhere. There was too much competition.
Although I didn’t know anyone else who did it, I was initially inspired by social media posts that promised I could make hundreds.
My next attempt, just before the pandemic, involved going on a live webcam website.
Performers have little agency and the content is often ripped onto free porn video sharing sites without your consent. I made less than £100 there.
But on a different website, through an agent, I made £300 in my first week for a few hours’ work.
Keen to get out of my overdraft for good and save, I frequently appeared on webcam alone during the pandemic.
My performing routine always involved stripping slowly and avoiding getting naked for as long as possible.
This often involved sucking a toy and spanking myself. I would only penetrate myself on occasion, keeping my face out of the shot. When clients asked for anal, I pretended.
After a few months, my unwillingness to engage in extreme activities meant that a lot of clients lost interest. I went from making £300-plus a week for a few hours’ work to around £100.
I was also sick of clients trying to pressure me into full-service sex work – that is, meeting and performing sex acts in real life – offering up to £1,000 a time. I had no interest in that.
A year after I began webcamming, I quit and got a better-paid ‘normal’ job as a writer.
This proved to be a wise decision. This year, a friend, who knew I had done webcamming, advised me to search my face with AI technology.
The average OnlyFans creator is estimated to make less than £2,000 a year
Alongside pictures from my social media was a grainy mercifully clothed webcam stream on a paid porn site. Someone was potentially making money from me without my consent. I was horrified. I contacted the website, and thankfully the video is now gone.
Side hustles are now more of a talking point on social media, which is great, as it has opened a lot of people’s eyes to other options like pet-sitting, but recent events have taught us that not much has changed when it comes to the misconception that only the big bucks can be made through online sex work.
That’s why I am so concerned.
We are living in a world where employers are paying so little, often to experienced staff, that they are having to consider things like OnlyFans – and women like Lily Phillips are keeping online sex work in the media, making people vulnerable to being drawn into this world like I was, where the risks massively outweigh the rewards.
But even if you are one of the lucky ones who can make a good living, no amount of money is worth your mental health, and I wish I had spoken to other creators before I even attempted online sex work.
I certainly wouldn’t have done streaming knowing it could easily be shared – and I’d have known the warning signs when it came to creepy clients.
If you enjoy sex and are sociable, it could be for you, and you could make money without having to resort to extreme actions like Lily Phillips’, but keep your financial expectations realistic.
The average OnlyFans creator is estimated to make less than £2,000 a year.
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Looking back, I wish I had gone into online sex work with my eyes wide open.
But, more importantly, I wish more people knew that many women are drawn to this world not because they are obsessed with sex, fame, or wealth but because they are simply trying to get by.
So be careful, be realistic, and be safe.
Or simply consider another side hustle.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk.
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