As I write this, I’m en route to a rather fabulous hotel in West London, where I’ll be spanking two charming chaps, both of whom have booked me because I’m so old.
Men do love a mature bird. When I entered the sex industry aged 19, I liked to torture myself with worry about what on earth I’d do when I ‘got old’ – which I imagined would happen at around 26.
Now 48, I’m earning more as a dominatrix than I’ve ever earned in my nearly 30 years of sex work. There are fewer women my age working, so we fortunate few are much more in demand.
Wrinkles, crows’ feet, sagging jowls and age spots are all de rigueur in the world of porn.
When my mum was made redundant in her early sixties, she turned her hand, slipper and belt to beating naughty bottoms and soon discoveredthere were many more eager customers than she had the time or strength to discipline.
Most spankos are over 45, so they want an older woman, with natural authority and gravitas to put them in their place. I flew to Texas recently, to attend the Lone Star spanking party – where 500 people huddle into one mid-range hotel for a long weekend of bottom slapping – and the women who were busiest were all in their sixties.
The party host, Samantha, is 69, and specialises in spanking other women. Dawn, dusk and long beyond, she spanked bottom after bottom, for films and sessions, tucking dollars into her well-stuffed bra before skipping to the next room to start again.
But it’s not just in domination that older women earn a pile: mature models – needed for stills and video for porn or commercial use – are in short supply too. There are dozens of websites and magazines devoted to us. ‘MILFs’ is inevitably in the top three most searched for terms on Pornhub. Not teen, not Bonnie Blue’s favourite phrase of ‘barely legal’, but MILF!
Plus, there are so few of us prepared to do it, you can get a decent finder’s fee for introducing an older woman to the industry. There are seldom many requirements with regard to looks either, as long as you’re a bit wrinkly. Natural breasts are preferred, and minimal tattoos, but otherwise, be your authentic elderly self. I heard of a woman of 92 who did her first solo shoot recently, and loved it.
Another woman, in her mid-sixties, found her entry into porn by being spit-roasted by two chaps in their early twenties. She had been a teacher, but enjoyed swinging with her husband, and someone in that community put her details on Adultwork in an inappropriate attempt at humour.
It backfired magnificently with countless offers for her to make erotic movies – so she decided to leave her irritating pupils behind and spend her days getting drilled instead.
I’m told after several hours the two young men were seen stumbling from her home, desiccated and sobbing, while she was still roaring for more: more attention, more orgasms, more fresh eager young flesh.
It’s stories like this that mean I don’t fear getting older. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not excited to age and I don’t need more money – I own eight properties outright already and don’t need more – but equally I don’t fear the wrinkles.
Pornography is the only art form where women of all ages and body shapes are sought and celebrated, and I’m no exception.
The other day my husband told me there’s a recent JOI (jerking off instruction) video of me on one site that’s garnered nearly a million views, and thousands of admiring comments. He loves seeing me be admired and appreciated.
‘They love your boobs! And your bush,’ he said as we drove to a film studio where he would record me role playing a sadistic nun. ‘This one woman, Brenda, writes erotica and wants to involve you in a dead mucky threesome,’ he added. I’m always happy to hear I’ve delighted so many strangers, Brenda included.
Over a bottle of port at Christmas, my niece, Stephanie – who is 48 and genuinely beautiful, tall, and slender – cried to me: ‘Ageing is brutal and it’s happening before my eyes, daily. I swim and run every damn day and still see the crepey skin against my speedos. Why can’t I stop it?’.
Melissa's other escapades
If you’re loving this story, why not read about the time Melissa kidnapped a former member of the House of Commons at his request.
She did it all for the reasonable sum of £1,000 and even had spectators come and watch.
I wanted to say ‘who on earth cares?’. Men love wrinkly skin and a body that looks like it’s been enjoyed. And if women were more comfortable in their own saggy skins, they’d waste far less time or energy worrying about getting old.
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While Stephanie is right, ageing is inevitable, I think agonising about stuff you can’t change is the very definition of insanity. So it’s best to ignore the bits you can’t control. This includes other people’s opinions of you, death, and cellulite.
It’s the attitude I’ve adopted as a mature woman in porn. I can now afford to turn down around 90% of the offers I get: if they’re not interesting, or unbelievably well paid, I can’t be bothered – I have the luxury of being picky.
I’ll sit back with my crows feet and monitor my property portfolio instead.
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