A national task force is urgently needed to begin tackling the ‘hidden scandal’ of domestic abuse victims being driven to suicide, a new report recommends.
Statistics now show the number of domestic abuse victims ending their lives has surpassed the number murdered by a current or former partner.
In the first comprehensive study of domestic abuse-related suicides and their aftermath, suicide prevention researcher Tim Woodhouse estimates more than 900 victims are killing themselves each year in England.
That number doubles when you factor in perpetrators’ taking their own lives, a decision described by their victims as the ‘ultimate act of coercive control’.
Mr Woodhouse writes: ‘I estimate that over 1,800 lives are being lost in domestic abuse related suicides every year. It is a scandal, and national tragedy, and it deserves attention.’
The number of domestic abuse victims dying by suicide surpassed the number being murdered by an intimate partner in 2023, although experts believe that to have been the case for several years before.
In Kent and Medway, where Mr Woodhouse works as a suicide prevention programme manager, one in three suspected suicides between 2018 and 2024 were impacted to some extent by domestic abuse.
He found that some victims attempt to take their own life to avoid being murdered by their abuser.
Tia, not their real name, told him: ‘The moment that I knew that things were very, very wrong, was when I was regaining consciousness in hospital.
‘I was waking up and he was beside my bed, and he was stroking the side of my temples with his fingers. He was smiling, like smiling the most evil smile I’ve ever seen in my life.
‘And he said, “You thought you could get away from me, didn’t you? You thought you could leave me”. That was the moment that I knew that I was in real trouble.’
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She described screaming, protesting and telling ‘everybody’, including friends, doctors and social workers, but ‘nobody believed me’.
‘It was already too late at that point,’ she went on. ‘He made them believe I was a crazy person.
‘All I wanted was to be believed. That’s all I needed. If one, literally one human being had looked me in the eyes and said, ‘I believe you’, this would have been a completely different story.
‘But nobody did. They laughed in my face. They bullied me and I tried to kill myself.’
Others describe being driven to the point of ending their life by relentless manipulation and coercive control, leaving them feeling ‘worthless’.
Nancy said: ‘I escaped my abusive husband 40 years ago. He would give me beatings so bad I’ve had doctors tell me I should be dead given the head injuries he gave me. He broke so many bones they thought I was in a car accident.
‘But worse than that, he convinced me that I was useless and stupid and incompetent and unlovable and all those things, and that the world would be better off without me.
‘I used to sit there at night and cry, “God, I can’t take this anymore, please don’t let me wake up”’ It was only years later that I reflected and realised that I was suicidal, I just didn’t have the language to label it that way back then.’
How to seek help if you feel you are being driven to self-harm as a result of domestic abuse
If the worst happens, contact AAFDA for free support and specialist advocacy, via email at help@aafda.org.uk or call 07887 488 464
AAFDA CEO Frank Mullane says: ‘Victims of domestic abuse who survived suicide attempts or who escaped the abuse before they got to that stage talk about the entrapment caused by coercive control.
‘They could not see a way out. Their lives and choices had been so controlled, that the escape seemed impossible to them.
‘But I urge victims to always seek help. There are pathways to safety and a better life.’
Samaritans are available on 116 123 or at www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
Women’s Aid says: ‘It is important that survivors know that they are not alone, and that organisations like Women’s Aid are here to listen and provide support. If you, or someone you know, has experienced domestic abuse and you need help, please reach out to Women’s Aid via our Live Chat or email our Direct Services Team.’
Local support can be found by using their Domestic Abuse Directory
Other useful links:
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 (free phone run by Refuge)
The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327 (run by Respect)
The Mix, free information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994
National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428 (run by Galop)
Live Free from Fear Helpline – 0808 8010 800 (run by Welsh Women’s Aid this helpline supports men and women and provides support in English and Welsh)
Rights of Women advice lines, there are a range of services available
Mr Woodhouse, a Churchill Fellow, also spoke to victims whose abusers killed themselves and the impact that had on them.
One, Julie, said: ‘Shortly after our seven-year abusive relationship ended, my ex-partner was arrested for stalking me and then killed himself. He left a suicide note blaming me for his death. We have a six-year-old daughter together.
‘Off the back of his smear campaign against me, his friends and family continued his abuse.
‘It feels like they have blamed us for his death, at the same time as disavowing our existence in his life.
‘I am working hard to hold a loving and nurturing space for my daughter to recover and heal. But it’s honestly a sh**show.
‘His suicide is an act of misogyny and coercive control – his entitlement over our future, over the deepest parts of us.’
Mr Woodhouse’s report makes more than 60 recommendations, including embedding mental health clinicians in every domestic abuse service, and vice versa.
He also calls for all frontline professionals to be trained in how to identify and respond properly to perpetrators presenting as victims to further control and isolate a current or former partner.
But the key recommendation is the urgent creation of a national taskforce comprising politicians, academics, charities and people with lived experience to ‘explore every aspect of domestic abuse-related suicides and collectively agree and national action plan’ to begin tackling it.
Speaking after the publication of his report, he said: ‘The issue of domestic abuse related suicides has been ignored for too long.
‘These deaths are a hidden scandal but understanding how many people are dying in such horrific ways is just the first step. Crucially, we need to start identifying measures to reduce the number of domestic abuse related suicides.
‘We need a step change in the way we support victims of domestic abuse.
‘The domestic abuse sector has historically been focused at reducing the risk of harm from the perpetrator. This needs to continue, but in addition, we must take action to keep victims safe from suicide too.’
The Domestic Abuse Commissioner for England and Wales, Nicole Jacobs said: ‘I welcome Tim Woodhouse’s Churchill Fellowship report, which builds our understanding about the connections between domestic abuse and suicide and provides insight in how we can work together to prevent future deaths.
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‘I encourage anyone working with or supporting people subject to domestic abuse – whether as frontline practitioners, local commissioners, or statutory services – to consider this report carefully, and reflect on their role in preventing domestic abuse-related suicides.’
Health Minister, Stephen Kinnock, said: ‘Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy, and this report highlights the urgent need for sustained, quality support for victims of domestic abuse.
‘This government is committed to fixing our broken system to ensure that we give mental health the attention and focus it deserves. As part of the government’s mission to reduce the lives lost to suicide, the 8,500 new mental health workers we will recruit will be specially trained to support people at risk.
‘We are also modernising the Mental Health Act and will give every school access to a mental health professional, to ensure we are intervening as early as possible.’
Need support?
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
Their HOPELINE247 is open every day of the year, 24 hours a day. You can call 0800 068 4141, text 88247 or email: pat@papyrus-uk.org.
Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.
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