Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Dear Alison,
I’ve been planning my wedding for the past couple of months and it’s been a joy to do – although it does have its moments.
We haven’t done everything by the book – we planned when and how we would propose so none of it was a surprise, and we decided against bridesmaids and groomsmen, because we wanted everyone to feel special.
We thrive on being unconventional. But there’s one thing I really want for my wedding – an autumnal metallic colour scheme.
I think this specific colour palette will look gorgeous – the photos will look great and it’s just pleasing to look at. The colours will suit everyone too!
But my fiancé is being blasé and dismissive about this colour theme. He won’t even tell his side of the family what colours to wear. I keep explaining that it’s the one thing I really want but he says ‘it’ll be fun to let people wear whatever they want’.
Nothing else has been stressful about this wedding – it’s just this one thing I keep coming up against, and I don’t know what to do.
How do I make him realise it’s really important to me?
Tyra
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email platform@metro.co.uk to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear Tyra,
It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into every detail of your wedding – and it’s wonderful that you take pride in being unconventional. That’s what will make your day truly ‘yours’.
It’s also clear that you feel very passionately about the colour scheme you’ve chosen; and that’s understandable.
Your chosen colour palette reflects your unique vision, and I can see why it means so much to you.
The palette you pick isn’t just about aesthetics – it is set to create a mood, tie the whole celebration together, and provide the picture-perfect backdrop for your photos.
Your wedding is such a personal milestone, and you’ve clearly considered every element to reflect the individual love story you share. Your vision for the wedding is a beautiful reflection of your distinct perspective and should be celebrated.
Given all this, I can see why it might be frustrating when one detail that you hold dear doesn’t seem to elicit the same opinion from your fiancé.
He might view it from the perspective that a bit of freedom in the dress code allows everyone to express their individual personality in their own way – and it might be worth considering that some of your wedding guests may prefer wearing certain colours.
They might feel that other tones don’t flatter them; and may feel pressured into wearing something they’re not comfortable with if your palette includes your guests’ outfits.
However, your passion for a particular colour scheme is a big part of your wedding vision, and your feelings must be acknowledged.
Remember, relationships are about compromise, and you and your fiancé must be able to agree. There is always a middle ground that can blend your personality into a day that feels authentically yours.
First, have a think by yourself about exactly why this particular colour palette feels so right to you. Perhaps these colours remind you of a special moment, or you believe they bring out the best in your chosen decor and venue.
Once you feel all this is clear in your mind, have an honest and open conversation with your fiancé in which you tell him why these colours are so important to you.
You could then propose a compromise, like asking the immediate family or closest guests to follow your chosen palette while allowing other guests more flexibility.
Alternatively, you could add a note in your wedding invitation encouraging guests to consider wearing an accessory that matches the colour palette. You could emphasise that this does not have to be mandatory; only if they feel like it.
It’s up to you whether you explain, in this note, that this would mean they’d be matching your chosen colour palette for the day. If you do make this clear, guests might jump at the chance to feel as though they’re helping you create your dream ‘look’ for the day.
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Ultimately, finding a middle ground doesn’t mean one vision has to overpower the other. It’s about combining both your personalities into a day that feels authentically yours. Whatever happens, your wedding should reflect your unique love story.
Try to welcome the conversations you have about this, going forward. Slight differences of opinion between a couple can be opportunities for a deeper understanding and better communication.
I wish you both all the best as you navigate these decisions – and I hope your big day turns out as beautiful as you imagined.
Best wishes,
Alison
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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