This is the bedtime story we never want to read to our children

Domestic abuse is a national emergency, which disproportionately affects women and children.

Last year alone, 1.6 million women and 1.8 million children in England experienced domestic abuse. With at least one woman a week being killed by a current or former male partner, and one in four women experiencing domestic abuse from the age of 16, now is the time for accelerated action.  

This International Women’s Day, we at Women’s Aid want to draw attention to the often hidden impacts of domestic abuse that mothers and their children face. Over 50% of women in refuges have children, yet government investment does not go far enough to meet their needs.

Alarmingly, our most recent 2025 Annual Audit, which analyses service provision for domestic abuse across the country, found that 31.4% of organisations providing services for child survivors are operating without dedicated funding, which is double the year before. 

There is an urgent risk that without adequate investment in these services, the Government’s laudable commitment to halve VAWG in a decade could see child victims being left behind.  

From our work around family courts, we know that concerns for their children’s wellbeing is a key driver for women deciding whether to flee or to remain with an abuser. Making the decision to leave is not easy and it can take time to decide.

Despite having been recognised as survivors in their own rights legally since the introduction of the Domestic Abuse Act in 2021, children are still failing to get the urgent support they need to, not only survive but also thrive, after abuse. It is important that specialist services are available – for both women and children – when they do decide to leave so that they are properly supported as they rebuild their lives in safety.  

As well as this, we must recognise that future generations play an important role in ending domestic abuse. It is rooted in misogynistic attitudes and culture, and social inequality between men and women, all of which are taught behaviours. 

We have the opportunity to educate our children on respect and equality, eradicating the problematic behaviours and attitudes that underpin this gendered abuse. 

On top of the shortfall in funding for services specifically for children, more broadly, over a third (35%) of respondents were running an area of their domestic abuse service without dedicated funding at all – with the most common area of service including domestic abuse prevention and educational work. Countless incredible women are working to provide survivors with support, but they are being forced to do so without adequate funds.   

This is why Women’s Aid has launched our ‘Monster Who Came to Tea’ campaign, which is raising awareness of the realities of domestic abuse for women and their children, as well as highlighting the alarming lack of government funding for survivors of abuse.

The Monster Who Came to Tea takes the form of a sobering children’s book, which highlights the terrifying reality of domestic abuse through the eyes of a child. The story begins as a seemingly light-hearted and whimsical tale, but soon takes a darker turn.

While this is not a bedtime story we would want to read to our children, it is a harsh reality for women and children experiencing abuse.  

We are calling on the Government to commit to a minimum funding settlement of £516m per annum in England for specialist domestic abuse services, including a ring-fenced fund for ‘by and for’ services. As part of this, we are urging the Government to introduce a Children and Young People Support Fund of £46m to ensure that all specialist domestic abuse services – as a minimum – have a dedicated child support worker.  

On top of this, we need to see investment in the design and roll-out of violence against women and girls prevention programmes in schools and other educational settings, including the private school estate, off-site provision, and youth settings such as youth offending. This is so all children can safely disclose abuse, and recognise the signs of an unhealthy relationship at an early age.

To do this, we have created lesson plans, which are being piloted with a number of schools, to help teachers educate children about domestic abuse. 

We will be sending an open letter to the Prime Minister demanding action. The letter calls on the Government to deliver this dedicated funding for specialist services that support both women and children in England, and every signature has the potential to pave a better future for survivors.  

Society needs to come together and recognise that we cannot protect women without protecting and educating children as well.  

‘The Monster Who Came to Tea’ is not a story anyone would choose to read to their children, but sadly for many, this tale is not fiction. Countless women and children live in fear daily. 

The Government must take action to protect women and children – help us make change by speaking up and signing our open letter today.  

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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