Being a girl’s girl is often considered a highly prized accolade among women.
The label celebrates togetherness and a willingness to put the needs and feelings of our fellow sisters above anything else, and is typically worn as a badge of honour.
But what does it really mean? And is it starting to lose it’s shine?
After all, last October controversial OnlyFans star Bonnie Blue brazenly claimed that women were ‘lazy’ for not having sex with their husbands, and that they should expect their partners to cheat if they weren’t putting out.
Then, a month later, when former first lady Michelle Obama pleaded with women to vote democrat duringthe US election, because ‘a vote for Trump is a vote against women’, her appeal failed.
Less women voted for Kamala Harris than they did for either Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton – and more white women voted for Trump than Kamala.
Boundaries also appear to have been crossed this year, with Halle Berry being branded ‘disrespectful’ and ‘tacky’ for kissing Adrien Brody in front of his girlfriend Georgina Chapman at the 2025 Oscars, and Love Island star Maura Higgins reportedly kissing married McFly star Danny Jones at a Brits after-party.
It all begs the question: after decades of championing the sisterhood are women beginning to turn on each other?
The Millie Bobby Brown saga
Perhaps the saddest display of women turning on each other came to light in a statement actress Millie Bobby Brown made on her TikTok, where she revealed she’d been a ‘target’ of reporters who were ‘desperate to tear young women down’.
The articles in question claimed the Stranger Things star was ‘ageing badly’ and that, at 19, she’d had a ‘mummy makeover’. The actress took particular issue with many of the articles being written by women.
Bare-faced, she said to the camera: ‘This is bullying. The fact that adult writers are spending their time dissecting my face, my body, my choices, is disturbing. And the fact that some of these articles are written by women makes it even worse.
‘We always talk about supporting and uplifting young women but when it comes down to it, it seems a lot easier to just tear them down for clicks…’
It’s easy to assume we might have moved on from such behaviour, thanks to the body positive movement over the last decade – but Millie’s pleas show it’s still too common.
For psychologist and Counselling Directory member Sophia Spencer it’s a reality she’s faced with every day. ‘I’ve never had a female client that hasn’t had a negative comment about their looks from a woman,’ she tells Metro.
‘Without a doubt it sticks with them and they develop beliefs that they’re ugly or weird looking, then they try desperately to change their appearance, so they never get a comment like that again.’
Her teen clients are often called ‘spotty’ or ‘fat’ while adult clients struggle with backhanded compliments, that often have racial undertones. ‘They’ve received comments like “you don’t look like a typical Indian woman – you’re really pretty” or “have you considered getting Botox”,’ she explains.
Aside from these comments being utterly outrageous, why do they hurt so much? Sophie says that studies show when you’re socially rejected and criticised your brain processes it like physical pain, and it can linger like trauma.
In Millie’s case, the therapist believes women weren’t simply being vindictive, but were unconsciously reinforcing internalised social pressures around aging, and projecting those onto her.
Toxic friendships and White Lotus
When it comes to TV, toxic friendships are often paraded on screen, and nowhere is the frenemy dynamic more obvious than in White Lotus. Friends Laurie, Jaclyn and Kate have all known each other since they were kids, yet their conversations feel like psychological warfare.
They call each other great friends and in the same wine-laced breath suggest that one of them looks tired and down – maybe that’s because she drinks too much alcohol – it’s subtle but cutting judgement.
Bridget Jones portrays this too, encountering her friend ‘the jellyfish’ whose conversation skills make it feel like ‘you’re swimming in a sea and being stung repeatedly’.
Therapist Sophie says that many of her clients has a friendship group which behaves this way, and that women do it to each other unconsciously.
‘If you have quite low self esteem, or you’ve been made to feel inferior, you may behave in a way to try and prove that wrong,’ she explains. ‘Unfortunately, that happens by pitting yourself against your friends, even though they were never the ones to make you feel that way in the first place.’
But jealousy and insecurity are feelings that aren’t going to disappear, so can this toxic dynamic ever be banished?
‘Avoidance is the real issue because admitting you’re insecure is putting yourself in a hugely vulnerable position – and it can go wrong,’ says Sophie.’Many of us think “is it even worth it?” to address the issue, but when a friendship group does this in solidarity, it can help us move forward.’
It’s not all bad…
While recent behaviours and TV tropes might paint a bleak picture of female solidarity, if you look hard enough, it’s still very much with us.
Take OnlyFans star Rebecca Goodwin who fled the Reality Check Show podcast in tears after the three male hosts implied she contributed nothing to society, despite using her earnings to fund her affordable housing project for struggling families.
The clip went viral and the women of TikTok rallied around the Rebecca dubbing her an ‘amazing woman’, while simultaneously cancelling the ‘misogynistic’ and unprofessional ‘brocast’.
Meanwhile at the recent SAG awards in America, actress Jane Fonda took a stand against Trump and his campaign against ‘woke’ ideologies, announcing: ‘Empathy is not weak or “woke”, and by the way, woke just means you give a damn about other people.’
Lady Gaga also used her Grammy speech to advocate for Trans women and the LGBTQ+ community. ‘Trans people are not invisible, [they] deserve love, the queer community deserves to be lifted up,’ she said.
Their speeches are just the start of high-profile women stepping up to support the sisterhood in the wake of Trump’s re-election.
More Trump smackdowns
If you take Michelle Obama’s words as gospel, then standing against Trump, is standing with women.
Catherine De Vries, political scientist and president of the Institute of European Policy Making, tells Metro: ‘The president is cracking down on gender ideology as part of an ongoing attack on women’s and LGBTQ+ rights.
‘His executive order states there are only two sexes, denying trans women and men their existence. He wants to root out “woke” policies to restore traditional gender norms where men are dominant and aggressive. It’s a dog whistle that increases discrimination against women and marginalised groups.’
It’s this coupled with Trump’s anti-abortion stance that once again had women marching together in protest against his presidency, two days before he returned to the White House – although there were more protesters when he was first elected eight years ago.
Catherine says it’s not because women don’t care, but that they’re waiting for the right time to organise against the republican. And women in power are still making the female voice heard.
Democratic governor of Maine, Janet Mills, faced off against Trump in the White House, after she refused to stop trans athletes participating in women’s sports, saying: ‘I’ll see you in court.’
Even First lady Melania Trump took aim at her husband’s anti-abortion beliefs in her book, released a month before the US election, writing: ‘A woman’s fundamental right of individual liberty, to her own life, grants her the authority to terminate her pregnancy if she wishes.’
In the UK, Marie Johnson went viral for confronting American-backed anti-abortion protesters on the cusp of the buffer zone outside a clinic in Glasgow, near her home.
‘You have no idea what those women in there have gone through or are going through. You have no respect for the women, you don’t care about the women,’she shouted in tears.
Gisele Pelicot
Of course, there has been one women in the past year who has stood up for women in a monumental way – Gisele Pelicot. Her trial galvanised rape and sexual assault survivors everywhere when she took her husband to court, after he drugged, raped and assaulted her, along with dozens of other men, over the course of a decade. Gisele’s actions also led to calls for a French law change to include a clear mention of consent in its rape definition.
The feminist hero who gave up her anonymity, famously said: ‘It’s not for us to have shame – it’s for them.’
‘It’s hard to find words that actually highlight the level of courage needed to do what Gisele did,’ says therapist Sophie. ‘To stand up and show your face and name, with all this societal shame, vulnerability and trauma is a bravery akin to going to war.’
Girl code is alive and well…
While we may at times fall victim to our own insecurities or jealousy, ultimately we’re there for our global sisterhood.
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Before, the lore of girl code was used purely to avoid dating drama within tight knit friendship groups, but now it seems to have grown beyond sleepovers and group chats into something much bigger.
‘Girl code feels like it’s grown into a more nuanced understanding of how we women need to stick together during these polarised times,’ Sophie says. ‘It’s become about resisting the patriarchy together.’
Ultimately, she believes that when women support women, they have the power to challenge dated narratives that have been the norm for us throughout history.
‘When you stand up against societal norms, like Gisele did, it has a ripple effect through generations – and that’s a very powerful legacy to leave, and for future women to continue.’
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